STOP BLOODY ADVISING YOUR CLIENTS ALL THE TIME!
One thing I couldn’t get my head around in the early years (and if im honest I still default to this train of thought sometimes) is …
“if client did what they were told, they get what they wanted”.
Why? Because it made me feel shit when I couldn’t give the clients what they came to me for sometimes, and io just needed them to follow what I told them.
Which is obviously why we are addressing “motivation” and
Self-determination theory …
Ps – if you missed last week 1st email on this, I’ve created a blog post out if just click here to access.
The second phycological need for motivation to thrive in people is. …
Autonomy
Which means. …. It's about feeling like you are the origin of your behaviour, rather than being controlled by external forces or internal pressures. Essentially, it's the feeling of "wanting to" do something, rather than "having to" do it.
And this one Is huge … no one likes to feel controlled.
but the true conflict of a coach is that often clients will say “just tell what to do”.
Which is complete contradicting scenario to be in.
On one hand you are telling your clients what to do …
Although 90% want either attempt to the thing you’re telling them to, or they simply won’t be adherent.
And let’s be honest, if even 70 of client did what you told them too …. then I wouldn’t be writing this email.
So how do we create autonomy?
Its not about giving the client complete “control” and to come up with answers completely by themselves and know what to do.
But they should feel in control of their future behaviours.
A saying that always goes down well.
“Clients are the expert in their lives”, so don’t try and assume you know best.
And by doing so .. you’ll naturally become more curious about them, their circumstances, environment, support system, experience etc …
Why is this important?
Because instead of “telling them to do something” which largely comes from something that been successful for the trainer, and or a method they’ve seen success with another client .. it’s easy to push that method onto other clients without first creating autonomy with them.
And it’s simpler than you think …
Here are a few simple examples;
"You’ve done great tracking everything this week. Going forward, I want you to decide what level of tracking feels most sustainable. You can either keep logging every meal, just focus on protein and calories, or even switch to a photo log if that feels less overwhelming. What do you think fits best with your lifestyle right now?
This builds autonomy by offering options, encouraging self-awareness, and reinforcing that the client is in control — not just following orders.
"For this week’s check-in, I want you to choose the one area you most want feedback on — training, nutrition, mindset, or recovery. That way, we can double down on what’s most relevant to you right now. What would feel most helpful?"
This gives the client a sense of ownership over the process, while still keeping structure and support intact.
These seem simple, but the impact is huge and as we dive into the part 3 and 4 of this series on motivation and SDT … I’ll be putting this altogether for you to be able to use immediately with challenging clients.
